So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize