I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
