Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
