I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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