I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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