this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
