I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
