69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
