I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
