Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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