just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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