Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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