Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
