Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
