We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
