You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize