I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Green mimosas i think yes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just want to make out with him forever
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize