dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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