I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
