maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
