i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
