You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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