First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize