He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
