lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
