you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He felt like a one man threesome
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
