So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
