do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
