Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
