To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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