i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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