i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dignity is for republicans.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
