you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
