So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
