i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
