Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
