Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
