My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
