i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
