my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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