I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
