dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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