he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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