put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
