I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
