she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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