Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize