bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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