I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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