it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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