we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
