margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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