My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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