Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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