I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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