You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Randomize
