I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
