I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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