can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize