No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
