I'm jealous of your bromance
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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