my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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