We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
