Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I am one with the molecules
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
