I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it glows. i had to have it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
