I must be too annoying 4 u.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
